scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
