i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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