Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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