I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
