i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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