He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
