I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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