**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
