forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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