Got a toothbrush?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
