omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
