You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
