no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
