then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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