I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
