I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
