Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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