It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
