does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
