she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
