I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
