Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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