He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
