i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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