don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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