you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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