Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
