i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
