Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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