Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
