Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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