You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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