Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
