oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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