Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
