In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
