I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
