I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
