So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
