dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
