You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
