i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
