five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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