Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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