I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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