that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
