Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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