You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
