All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
