I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
