You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize