i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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