remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
